Lust of a Weakened Soul

To want,
Something so simple,
it would seem,
but to act upon
is to understand
to repremand
an inner consciousness
and emotion
that's too lost
in commotion
and caught
in erosion
to be understood.

As if I could tell you
what I want:
I want you.
As if I could do
what I want,
to take you
and hold you
and never let go.
To feel your heart
beat rhythmically
against your chest
against my chest
like it was trying to leap out
and grab my own heart,
my own love,
and meld with it
so they are one for eternity.

But no,
you have my heart
and you have my love
and if I were to do that,
it would mean I understand
my feelings,
that I understand
that I love you,
...or I loved you.
I guess I don't know anymore.

I guess I'm still sore
and too hurt
to love you.

But I do,
Don't I?

I want you,
Don't I?